Q: What's pink and dirty and goes ouch!

A: Me, hitting myself with a hammer - one finger at a time.

Not to be outdone by Mrs Soup (see yesterday), I launched myself into an up-a-ladder health-and-safety risk-assessment nightmare. Our bijou gazebo needed some urgent first aid, in the form of some roof felt. The result is not as tasteful as the original wood on display, but it might last a bit longer.

NB It turns out fizzy wine is good for recovering from a (self inflicted) hammer attack.