woman work

I've got the children to tend
The clothes to mend
The floor to mop
The food to shop
Then the chicken to fry
The baby to dry
I got company to feed
The garden to weed
I've got shirts to press
The tots to dress
The can to be cut
I gotta clean up this hut
Then see about the sick
And the cotton to pick.

Shine on me, sunshine
Rain on me, rain
Fall softly, dewdrops
And cool my brow again.

Storm, blow me from here
With your fiercest wind
Let me float across the sky
'Til I can rest again.

Fall gently, snowflakes
Cover me with white
Cold icy kisses and
Let me rest tonight.

Sun, rain, curving sky
Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone
Star shine, moon glow
You're all that I can call my own. 
Maya Angelou

I love Maya, i've read the majority of her poetry and as i sat tonight to blip and write in my gratitude journal this poem came to mind of describing my day.

As i sat with Kanye tonight holding his wee hand i wondered how i even got through today? how did i do it?

I did everything- i folded washing , hung out washing, changed sheets, cleaned the kitchen 3 times over, cleaned rooms all while feeding the boys, making muffins and dinner ahead of time, changing nappies and clothes many times over, tending to injuries, wiping away their tears, calming the anger, mediating the fights and nursing the toddler.

The boys, were not easy and many times today i felt overwhelmingly tired and in need of a moment. I love them with everything i have but today as a mama, it felt never ending.

Last night i made a road of tape in our lounge on the floor for them to play with this morning, within 30 minutes road rage set in and the tape was pulled up, they were fighting over cars , the road and the ramp. The cardboard tunnel i made was stomped on and it quickly ended in tears.

Kanye had another bad night of seizures, he was exhausted today as his wee brain didn't let up -continually having bursts of electrical charge causing him to drop out for several seconds which must be really frustrating to lose moments of your day and come back feeling confused and disorientated. His behavior was typical of the time he was having with his seizures, his head aches, he gets pressure and hes tired. His ability to cope with anything was gone and replaced with screams, shouts and wails.

Everything aggravated him, every noise, every time someone walked by, he was overly physical with his brothers, Harper and Marley seemed to stick together today with Marley being quite protective of him when Kanye had pushed Harper or accidentally hurt him.

Marley had a moment this morning of frustration and after a short time out was easily calmed and brought back to his normal self. He had realized he hadn't said goodbye to Andre and was very upset to the point of anger because Andre couldn't come back, he was at work.

At 3 points during today he said some beautiful things though that i want to keep.

1. Mar gave me his muffin and said ' you can have the rest of my muffin mama because you are a good lady and you take care of me and my brothers.'

2. He shooed a bee and i explained how i as allergic and what that meant- a trip to hospital,  he said ' that would be bad because you couldn't clean or make dinner or breakfast'

3. He shooed a fly ' mama i shooed a fly from your awesome muffins, they are lovely' I think he was angling for another one by being sweet!

Very flattering little guy today, he even sat and read a book to Harper after he had got hurt. Harper kissed him lovingly.

Looking back on today it doesn't seem as bad but in the moment where all 3 are crying or wailing or shouting or asking for things its hard. Being alone with 3 little boys all day is hard. Continually working is hard

All in a days work for a mama though i guess. And i do love them so, its worth it if theyre happy and they know i love them.

Putting a pic of my basil tonight- my favourite herb.