Pick up sticks

Well today it was back to work for the year, and teachers only day, as nice as it was to actually have some place to go and something to do. I can't help but wonder am I really doing the right thing by going back to work for 25hours a week, I know that I will only be working the morning and it will give me the whole afternoon to do what I need, but in doing this will I lose the ability to have the freedom to truly follow my heart, I know it will solve the money issues and I will be able to survive. And then I wonder by going up to 25hours will I be strong enough once study is finished to not go back to full-time? I know I told my brother I had no regrets by quitting last year and doing full-time study and I still feel strongly that I don't regret the choice, but do my actions go against what I feel and say. Choices use to seem so hard but the consequences were not so life changing, like in a game of pick up sticks, some of the choices were easy, but some were real tough, but the reward for the easy choices and the tough choices was the same if you succeeded you got another turn, although it always felt so much better when you succeeded with the challenging ones than the easy ones. And well if you didn't succeed all it meant was your go was over, but that was ok because there was always a chance for another go. Life can be a lot like that there are some easy choices that you just know what you need to do, and well those choices don't hold too much risk or challenge but then there are also those choices to make that are real challenging, they hold a risk to them, and if you make the right choice and succeed the reward is great, but if you make the wrong choice then the consequence can be devastating.

Right now I know what I need to do, the scary part is that I don't know how its going to end, and along the way there will be many choices to make that could change the path. I know I just have to keep trusting God and seeking Him for direction but that doesn't mean that it will be easy.

Sometimes I wish that could go back to those days where the choices were what stick to choose in pick up sticks, and then there are days where I am so excited to see where the choices I have made in life are leading me.

I think I am ready to have fun along this journey that God has me on and seeing where it is going to lead, and for now until study starts back I get to enjoy the fun and laughter with the kids at work without having to worry about assignments