Christmas Blessings

Recently received a beautiful Christmas message accompanied by a lovely herb wreath from my sister (in law). It got me a bit teary-eyed. I think of Allison every day. I had been wondering how this Christmas was going to unfold being that Allison sure did an amazing job of pulling us together and then encouraging the ambiance and spirit of Christmas in all her preparations.

As we walked a million plus miles in Washington recently, she was with us. Dad (in law) shared memories of similar DC adventures with us. The cherry blossoms along the mall still had a few die-hard blossoms hanging on and this reminded me of her. As we walked along we'd see some of the museums and galleries we all explored together, invoking more memories. My sweetheart recalled all the finite planning she did so that we missed nothing.

This Christmas marks the beginning of something new for us. For me it is resignation to a kind of sadness that is strong and fresh this year. I am comforted in the excitement and joy the kids share. If it wasn't for my Sweetheart's apparent genetic inheritance of Allison's attention to Christmas details (like the simmering orange and cinnamon aroma filling our house) I certainly would be content to indulge my "inner Grinch" and not even put up a tree.

Having Dad (in-law) with us and sharing Christmas with Olivia and her father really helps. It helps me to accept that a torch is being passed. That we are taking the reigns and orchestrating the Christmas spirit once lovingly shared with us by Allison. After all,  it's for the love of family and friends. She was a great example.

Unfortunately, I have not done a good job of planning Christmas gifts this year. My Sweetheart had me open sister (in-law)'s beautiful gift tonight. I am so blown away. I have fancied such an herb wreath for years, but never indulged in such a luxury. I grew extra ornamental peppers this summer with intent to make  5 wreaths for gifts. But I could only complete three before our guests arrived. They are still waiting to be sent out. Probably not going to happen until after the new year!

I only sent Christmas cards to immediate family. I didn't send any Christmas gifts, just gift cards for the kids. There was this funk I couldn't shake and I just didn't get motivated in time. So, I am sorry that I couldn't match her generosity and thoughtfulness this year. I am evermore grateful for my dear sister (in law). I am inspired by her grace, spirit, and constant search for wisdom and meaning in all of life's blessings and challenges. I am truly blessed to be a part of this family.

Christmas will unfold and be what it will be. But it's brighter already by her loving message and thoughtfulness. I intend to take a moment and step out under a starry Christmas night and send a small prayer along the cold winter currents, sending Allison my gratitude and love.