Dare You.

Push me, go on. Be nasty to me, make me angry, make me cry, until i'm angry enough to rip you to shreds with my bare hands. I dare you.. Tear me apart.

Casually rifling through my Jewelry box, and I stuck my finger unexpectedly into this stupid smashed up little spare Christmas-light attatchment thing. Bloody painful i'm telling you.

I feel like utter shit. I'm home alone sitting here a if the world is my oyster, but if it is, I hope it swallows me up the way an Oyster, would a pearl. Fuck this.

Exam this morning, I've failed it because I completed the paper wrong, mixed and matched the questions. Hah. What is my life? Oh wait, that's the best joke I know!

"Maybe you should have revised" She says. That's the first time she's ever upset me in a way that could be avoided, and she probably knew it. I looked at that text when it popped up on my stupid phone's screen, and I cried. She's supposed to make me feel better? I thought she knew I wasn't well. Now i'm even less well, Love is not there to accuse? Or to point fingers. Fuck this, and now i'm crying again.

I asked Dad if when we move away I can get another cat, a kitten, a really lovely little one with cute markings, or maybe i'll get a russian blue? Or a little black one with huge green eyes? Or another tabby? So I can have almost-twin cats! I'd really like a pure white cat with blue eyes, or a grey and white one, Oh how I love cats.

Cats are all that I am living for at the minute, cats, and Laura, Jess, Pam, and Lesley. Keep me smiling will you? I'm worse again.

~

I never knew, it could be, such fun.
Darling, you, you're the only one,
who can take me there.
We're all smiles
It's all lies,
It's all lies.
It's all lies.