What do you do when your dreams goes up in smoke? What do you do when the answer of your current situation is a life change?

First, you think it is a dream, a horrible dream and the worse kind of nightmare you ever felt the taste of. That can be so destructive but amazingly enough, it is as well needed.

Next step is to accept the change and try to convert the feelings into a fire, a fire stronger than any engine you might know. The fuel is you, the fuel is your sparkle and will to survive the deep hole you over and over again being draw into, sucked into.

When you stay in the nightmare, your world will turn into dust. The close ones, the people you love and care for wont know how to deal with you and slowly their support will go. Suddenly one day, you wake up and no one hear your call for help. Your voice will eco back to you and the empty walls will catch up your words until you only hear them in your head.

You will be the most lonely person in the entire universe, just because you chosen to stay in the hole, in the nightmare where you felt safe. The thoughts will eat you up, the pain will penetrate your body coz there is nothing else around you which can distract you. It will be you, your pain, your nightmare and your thoughts about how no one in the entire world understands you.

We all have a choice.

My choice is to fight. My choice is to beat my nightmare and gain trust and energy from my loved ones. I will be my own fuel but my family will be the drops i need to stay sane. They cant understand me 100 % but they can support me by being the family I am used to, the crazy family I during the years been a part to create.

They cant do my work, they cant change my life or do the things i need to do for the rest of my life. They can be my chain, my fans but most of all, the most important thing, they can give me unconditional love.