Looking for inspiration

Here's the thing.  I have just learnt that there is something on the horizon called Christmas.  And at Christmas you have to give the ones you love presents.  Well, to be fair you don't have to, but if you are wise, you do.
What in hells bells name am I going to give HER and HIM?

I love them both to bits, and they love me too, and I just checked under the tree that SHE has put up and there are presents wrapped up for me.  (It’s a very good job I am not a boy dog.  I might have done something I regretted).

How can I go shopping?  I never get any pocket money.  And if I did, shopkeepers would look at me really strange and chase me out of their store with a broomstick, on account of dogs aren't allowed in shops.
I suppose I could be an extra good girl, and give them lots of licks.  But funnily enough THEY don't like being liked to death all that much.

I am at my wits end.

Do you think SHE would like a stick?  No, I didn't think she would, although I'm sure she'd PRETEND to like it on account of I gave it to her.
 
I wish I could knit.  She's got a stash a mile high, and I could pinch some and knit something.

But I can't knit.

So that’s why I am sitting here having a big think, on a stinking hot day, about what I am going to give THEM for Christmas.