H2O hates me

I struggle to drink even a small bottle of water a day. Here is one I have left lying about, which my son has made 'naked' by stripping off the wrapper and as usual he has drank the remnants with the kind of ease I envy.

I can go for days, weeks, months...in fact I could go for the rest of my life without drinking water. Water feels as pointless as eating a slice of fresh air. I mean I know you need both but seriously...where's the fun? Yes, that's the problem. Water bores me.

Whereas a cup of tea is a warm hug, a cup of coffee is a slap in the face, a can of coke is a pinch on the bottom, apple juice is a pat on the back, milk is a stroke on the cheek, hot chocolate is a holding of hands and water is...well it's frigid.