Ruin is the fate of discord!

(Scene: the Kings's Apartments Pontefract Castle)

I say Henrietta Queenie?
Yes Charlie Darling
You know we've withstood three ghastly sieges on the olde castle to boot?
Ja lieve.
Well it would appear those frightful Roundhead scallywags have devised another fiendish contraption to scale our walls!
What would that be my cutie cavalier?
Here, take my looking glass (borrowed from Morgan Freeman in Robin Hood). Can you see smoke on the horizon?
Goodness, what could that be? It's an enormous building belching fire and brimstone (or even steam if it had been invented by now)!
Queenie, I think the game may be up... Make for the nearest oak tree without delay forsooth!

With absolutely no apologies to historians!