Once I was called a true rebel.

My art professor Ron Graff said this to me one day during an art critique. "Megan, I think you are a true rebel." And I thought that was just about the best thing anyone, let alone a professor, could tell me.

I didn't really believe him...

But lately, I think he might have been right. Rather than a true rebel, perhaps I am a curious one. It seems the more my life becomes unstable the more positive I become and that just might make me a rebel. When everything is up in the air and everything seems impossible and people around me begin to crumble and worry, I become more possitive than ever.

I believe in the best in people. My faith in people was very shaken this past year, but I still believe. I don't have much money living as an artist but I believe somehow I will be just fine as long as I am pursuing my passion and doing it to the best of my ability. I believe the more I have, the more I have to give. I believe that it all comes back to you and I believe you reap what you sew. Where did all this come from? When I talk to people about my life, my depression, anxiety, how I was stuck and very afraid of the world and that I am living a life I only imagined right now, it is hard for me not to sound like some type of nut or religious zealot (I am neither).

I am not always happy or always healthy but these days I have more good days than bad and I am more grateful for the life that I am living now and for all the experiences of my past (good and bad) that brought me to this point than ever before.

I am a 40 year old woman who thought one thing was going to happen and then abruptly something else happened and now who knows what will happen. And isn't that just the best thing?

PS. The reality of the day included a film at the Cameo and curry out for dinner. It was also a year ago today that Stewart and I met for the first time. "Hey Zombie..."