The Crystal Chandeliers Light Up The Paintings

Been to the swankiest of parties in swanky town tonight. I never would have believed my eyes had I not witnessed it but the Sheraton Hotel is beautiful now! Wowee.

Been on the complimentary fizz, okay don't mind if I do, canapes (scallops with squid ink cauliflower puree, just normal Thursday for me, don't ya know), halibut schmalibut with foie gras shmar plas, etc etc etc. Had teet pipettes with prunes and black pudding woven around, crab cakes, mini lemon meringue thangs, chocolates, another chocolate, ooh here comes a different slave, he wont recognise me, can I try one of those chocolates, please? Oh and as many prawns and oysters as there are fish in the sea. Be rude not to seeing as they went to so much trouble.

The problem with eating so much is I've had an hour off and now I just want more. Where are the slaves mincing round the house with trays when you need one eh? That's what's missing in my life.


The Crystal Chandeliers, Charley Pride - look I know its wrong but I can't help it, I like it, ok?