"Please pass the ball"

...I'm sure that's the correct translation from the torrent of Portugese spilling from Ronaldo's gob after he was in a totally unmarked position but being ignored by his fellow players..

We had a visitor over from Austria today, and in the spirit of inter-continental co-operation, I made the ultimate sacrifice of escorting him to the "Theatre of Dreams" (presumably given that name on account of the crowd falling asleep a lot) for a Carling Cup game against Middlesborough.
He was treated (subjected) to a burger and a bottle of Coke outside the ground, foregoing a normal posh restaurant meal for the opportunity to watch Ronaldo play live.

No sooner had the match got underway, my phone rang. It was Emily calling from the top of the Empire State building. She said that Lance wanted to ask me a favour, so I told her to put him on.
The conversation went something like this:

Lance: "Hi Steve, Emily says you're at Old Trafford. What's the game?"
Me: "Carling Cup against Borough"
Lance: "Anyone famous playing?"
Me: "Ronaldo, Giggs, Nani, Wes Brown"
Lance: "Wes Brown?"
Me: "well - he's playing anyway" The other side have got Downing.
Lance: So Borough have no chance.
Me: "Probably not - what was this favour Emily was talking about?"
Lance: Oh yeah - can I marry your daughter?"
Me: Yes
Lance: Thanks. What's the score......?


Well, it seemed to go like that.

He proposed to her on the top of the Empire State Building - ever so romantic. And United won 3 - 1 although the game was marred by a really bad tackle on a very promising United midfielder who was playing on his debut. There were fears his leg was broken, but it turns out that he was only badly cut, although there were 9 minutes of extra time because of the length of time to treat him and strecher him off.
Ronaldo scored his first goal of the season, so it was a good day for all really.


Congratulations Emily and Lance.
If any of my family happen to see this, please let Emily be the first to tell Mother.