clouds...

i took this this morning, with the intent of blipfoto

but i'm posting it now with the intent of ranting... i feel so frigging confused & intimidated..

So, as of the moment, I have accepted the offer from Durham college, for the paralegal program. durham, is in oshawa, where i've lived for the last 6 years of my life. very unfortunately what i've come to know as home away from home.

but, even though i was interested in law long ago...
i realized as i applied to several things (since it was costing me 100$) i tossed in Architecture... which has an option to opt out with at least a certificate with the first year completed.. and an option after 2nd year... and third.

this is kinda like.. my dream job? BUT it's at loyalist.. which is in peterborough belleville! which i think is further away.. and definitely an area i'm not familiar with... if i went there i'd be completely alone. how would i get there? i would have to break up with dan obviously. i don't have money to get to ptbo belleville, i don't know how to be by myself.. it seems like the perfect opportunity & i'm too terrified to take it.

on top of all of that... i miss art. i wish i could continue with it.

i have no idea what to do.. and now i'm crying.

i'm so desperate for a shred of stability. i feel so lost.