Elephant Soup

Ingredients

1 medium elephant (African is the best)
500 gallons hot water
2 pecks onions, finely chopped
1 bushel potatoes, peeled and sliced
5 shovels of salt
3 shovels of pepper
1 and 1/2 cases Worcestershire sauce
10 bottles of Rum (or more if cooking time is longer or you're expecting more than 8 guests)
Coke to taste
5 quarts peanut oil (optional) *

Preparation

Mix 1 1/2 oz. of Rum with Coke, drink. Wash and dry elephant (Don't use soap as this will spoil the flavour.) Chop into bite size chunks. In back of 1/2 ton truck (or rented U-Haul ) pour hot water. Have another Rum and Coke and add elephant, spuds and other ingredients. Allow to simmer. Meanwhile finish first bottle of Rum. Stir mixture using canoe paddle or small outboard motor. When guests arrive, start them off with remaining Rum.

*The peanut oil won't really add to the soup, but it's the way the elephant would have wanted it.

From "What's Cookin' at McClung?"
1990 Collectors Edition