Not Such A Good Day

My second craft fair - well lets chalk this one up as a learning experience.

I sold one badge :(

Didn't even sell any cards or lavender hearts this time and they did so well at my first fair.

But I did get lovely compliments and someone took my details for another possible fair.

The turn out was poor and those that did come did the circuit had a cup of tea and then left.

The organiser was lovely and helpful at giving me advice to carry on, to not give up. I knew the ups and downs so I was prepared but its still disheartening. I dont think any of us made anything.

Almost thought that I had sold a quilt - its a small childs quilt she seemed really keen until I told her the price - Oh well right product, wrong buyer (incidentally the quilt is a steal at only £25).

I was a bit miffed that one of the stalls was selling mass produced items (clue in the title Craft Fair).

The lady that I was next too was lovely and again I got some great advice - but it was frustrating too - her prices were far too low I am surprised if she was even covering costs.

But then thats anther problem that you come up against - those doing it as a hobby and those of us doing it as a business. People dont realise that we need to cover materials and that includes the extras like promotional items, advertising, fees, learning, books, accountants (eep not yet I will keep muddling through) and our time and then yes that big evil word profit (I am not out to screw people over but I have bills to pay too - that evil word is my earnings).

I create because I love it. I want to be able to turn it into my full time job - through being signed off work (day job) sick this I have really been evaluating my priorities. I want to work (and need to work) to support myself (I battled to get to the point where I was well enough to work) and the price that I have been paying is that work is my life as in I cant do much else (hey I may not look ill but I still have a chronic illness - amongst other things that mean I have hidden disabilities). Anything else has to be carefully planned with adequate rest. Working full time for myself would mean that I can plan my activities and pace (and go to the supermarket when its less stressful for me) and be me.

Being me is something else that I am beginning to reconnect with - I know that sounds strange but I felt like I had started to lose myself. I am not about to goth up again - but what happened to the me who said I was never going to conform to societies rules to fit in? Yes I grew up but I didnt have to lose myself completely. Sure I have stood fast and not removed my lip piercing (12 years and counting on that one) and my nose piercings (17ish years and counting) but I no longer have all the metal running down my ears, I no longer dress in even a slightly 'deviant' way. I love rockabilly style, I love 1940's, I love steampunk - when I was younger I would have thought nothing about wearing something different - but now I hide in the 'uniform' of conformity.

But I know that there is still that little bit of rebelliousness in me (and Mr Mouse) - almost 3 years ago we got married and we did it our way. No wedding dress shop for me (I took my Mum to Fairy Goth Mother corset shop), Mr Mouse had no suit, no tie. No formal wedding reception, no speeches, in fact it was a pirate themed birthday party for Mr Mouse complete with pirate ship cake, bunting, flag and kiddies party bags :)

I am still there inside and I am starting to let myself free - I wont make excuses or hide anymore (I dont think I will dig out the fangs though - but then that might be entertaining turning up to a quango office in full goth mode - hehe).