Zen & the art of digging

Dear Jack, if you can read this, here is your target for tomorrow. Yes, I know that we generally discourage you from digging in the garden, but just this once (& once only, mind) you may dig to your heart's content, after which you are to please never return to this area; it may turn out resembling a bath, but I assure you that it isn't 'your' bath, & if things go to plan then you will come up smelling not of roses but of far less sweet things - you will also be covered in slime, and will not enjoy the bath that you'll be forced to have afterwards.

<gulp> Who am I trying to kid? Ah well, the plans are drawn & the liner bought, every available receptacle (plus the water butt) are filled with rainwater, & we have reinforcement diggers (aka daughter & grandson) arriving in the morning. My 'bucket list' may not be as exotic or as ambitious as many, but getting my own wildlife pond will be one more thing crossed off it.

p.s. to Jack: however did you end up owning such dumb people? I now understand why you kept trying to move that piece of rope we used to plan the layout - you were just trying to save us all that time we spent on deciding exactly how & in which direction it should curve by reminding us that water cannot go uphill! Now, will you tell you Dad or shall I?

Things we've learned about Jack today
He fancies himself as an amateur Pascal (or do I mean Archimedes?)
He is seeking new ways to tell us that he needs a toilet outing, but is handicapped by having owners who are not only incredibly dense regarding water finding its own level, but also assume that each & every bark has the same (usually meaningless) meaning; after being told off for barking at hubby this afternoon, he then came & sat by my bed - but on the opposite side to where he usually climbs up. Assuming he wanted a cuddle, I called him round to the other side, & after some encouragement he did come up very briefly, but then jumped back down & sat looking up at me as if to say: "Look, I'm doing my best, what else can I do to tell you that I need the loo?"