You put it in your mouth?????

I haven't had a Macca's since 2004 in Sydney Airport. I had a burger King a couple of years ago in Newcastle Airport. They've had time to improve.

But they haven't. This technicolour splodge was a 'Cheeseburger'. Well I guess the custard coloured consistency slightly skimming the surface of the slab of distressed fat, gristle and beef flavoured offal had a modicum of cheese extract within. Maybe not???

Why do I do it? Well actually because it tasted great! I prefer the BK with bacon but heck, this was Seaham. Beggars can't be choosers.

The bloody petrol station was closed 'cos all the t***s who topped up yesterday and are now parked up safely at home waiting for Easter had bled the place dry. My car's 'range' dial says 42 miles before it conks. And I've still got 34 miles to go.

The buggers have robbed my pension, plundered my pasty and now they've got me marooned on the motorway.