Benidorm

I get a bit despondent when I hear the middle classes (or should that be the squeezed middle) in the UK express their disdain for Benidorm and the type of people who choose to holiday there. Of course Benidorm is not everybody's cup of cheap Typhoo tea. It can be loud, brash, unnerving, confusing and in midsummer utterly chaotic and, well, just plain weird.

As if it weren't enough, it's not all sun, sea, sex and sangria. The brochures, newspapers and at least one very poor British TV comedy show tend to concentrate on the Levante Beach side of Benidorm with it's British bars, cabaret clubs, discos, lap dancers and stag and hen parties. This zone has it's place but they rarely tell you about the old town with it's busy tapas bars stretched out along the narrow alleyways; the fabulous Spanish restaurants serving fresh seafood, cured jamon, Manchego cheese, mountain lamb and pork so succulent it melts in your mouth. They don't tell you about Poniente Beach which stretches out along the other side of the old town and is noticeable for it's more Spanish laid back atmosphere. They also don't tell you about the mountains and valleys and waterfalls that overlook the city - and it is a city in my mind-which dwarf the likes of Ben Nevis or the Cairngorms in Scotland. You only need to travel 10km outside of Benidorm to enter a different world of winding mountain roads leading to small whitewashed pueblos that are surrounded by orange and lemon groves and contain some fantastic places to eat and relax. I live in the outskirts of one of these pueblos and the silence and tranquility at night is tangible

It's true that thousands of British holidaymakers never see this side of life in and around Benidorm but recently I've been thinking why should they? The majority of people who visit Benidorm are working class people like myself. They work long hours all year and in many cases receive very low wages. (Don't get me started on this despicable system we all now seem to live under that promotes greed and inhumanity and pays poverty levels of wages for a huge amount of the working population.) Many of the visitors to Benidorm are pensioners, most of whom can barely afford to live from day to day in the UK. Just look at what George Osborne done to them in yesterday's UK budget whilst at the same time giving massive tax cuts to the rich. These pensioners come to Benidorm for months at a time because it's cheap and they can live all inclusive and in warmth for half the price it would cost them back home. There's also free entertainment for everyone in the many cabaret clubs and bars. Where else could you see Billy Connolly, Westlife, Abba, The Spice Girls, Michael Bubble ( I point blank refuse to call him Buble) and... errrr... Sticky Vicky all in one night. The beaches are vast. I've been to Bondi and it has nothing on Benidorm's vast expanses of clean unbroken sand except of course for the great white sharks lying in wait beyond the antipodean surf. Last but perhaps most importantly there is almost guaranteed sunshine for around 320 days a year.

The vast majority of British holidaymakers that come to Benidorm just need a break from the regular monotony of work, grey skies, corrupt bankers/politicians/directors and daytime TV. So what if they drink in British bars, eat fish and chips and watch Corrie on the big screen? At least they are in the sun and paying fair prices.

Much like the word "chav" has been created to denigrate a large part of British working class youth, the word Benidorm, thanks to the chattering classes, has now entered the consciousness and invokes visions of some form of holiday hell only to be endured by people who don't know any better. Benidorm is not everybody's cup of tea (it's not actually mine most of the time) and it does get it's fair share of union flag waving nazis but it is a bolt hole for thousands of Brits who want to forget their worries, escape the stress back home and enjoy two cheap weeks of fun in the sun. What's so wrong with that?

Note: For what it's worth, my views on many of the ex-pats who have been living out here long-term are entirely different. Predominently the ones who moan about asylum seekers in the UK not learning the language and sponging off the state whilst they themselves speak no Spanish and clog up the countries national health system not to mention the letters pages of the local gossip rag. That's for another rant blip on another day.