CT!

For those of you with a genteel disposition then STOP reading!

Today I had to go to Stobhill hosp for my CT scan.
For two days before that I had to take some liquid called Gastro something or other, well I don't know about you but anything with the word Gastro suggests to me some gastronomic delight! This stuff tasted like Camel piss!

Have to say the new Stobhill is very futuristic, there was even a farmers market going on in the hallway where you could buy all sorts of heart attack on a plate goodies.
I digress though! up the fancy escalator to the image department, thought I was going to the pictures! Lovely friendly receptionists unilke the usual dragons that only respond if you are wearing a bright green shellsuit and swigging a bottle of Buckie. Step this way please, I was impressed.
Met with a nice Irish nurse who asked me to change and leave my dignity in the changing room.
Progressed into the scanning room. Big room, Biiig machines and this big doughnut in the middle.
"Please lie down & I will expalin the process " said the nice radiologist who spoke so fast that my addled brain was only picking up certain words like, gas, carbon dioxide, expanding, compressor!! for a moment I thought ~I had gone to Kwik Fit! Then he said "I will be adding two types of dye to get a better photo, by the way one of them may have side effects and affect your eyes so if you get a stabbing pain go immdiatley to A&E" Correct me if Im wrong but was it not my bowels he was looking at and not my bloody eyeballs! "no thanks " I say "as my family have a history of glucoma, I have no desire to speed it on" "one dye will do no matter what reception your pictures have"!

AFter being blown up! you get zapped through this big ring thing. Then the happy chappy radiologist comes to make small talk while he fills you with some dayglo dye "and why did they remove 3 sections of your bowel?" "WHAT" I shreik!! sitting up with a jerk and banging my head off his 3 million pound ring! "If I am missing 3 sections of bowel then some sicko must have stolen it without my permission"! "oops silly me" says Mr nice mannie, "its 3 Cesarian sections" For a moment Kwik Fit was sounding a much better option!

AFter more zapping and machine revving, it was over. "We just need to remove the gas pipe" says mr cheeryface. At that point I expected to ricochet off the walls . However it was all over very quick and the staff were all very nice though they all dress identically so you could have either the cleaner of the porter drawing your blood and you are none the wiser!

Anyhows anyone who needs to go for one, fear not.

I wonder what CT means ....Crinkley Terminator? Chunky Tweeker? The mind boggles. Now I have to wait for the giant beuracracy that is NHS admin to lose my results!!! hope not

Family pic tonight

Happy blipping