Piercing boy vs Cancer Boy

My father has arrived, and since i'm back to his place, i have to follow his rules: no piercings.

I feel like i've lost a finger or even a leg. I guess its like when someone loses a ring they've always used (like a Wedding ring).

My body is in sorrow for the lost ones. i feel so miserable, so naked, so ugly. I feel like i've sold out my attitude towards life: i've returned to being just a sick kid.

Now i'll get the "oh poor boy, he must have cancer/leukemia" comments all avoer again...

anyway, i couln't sleep or smoke a cig, so i went for a midnight bike ride. It was so warm outside, and for half an hour, i just cycled. I needed to find a calm/deserted place, so i went up and up the hill until there were no more street lamps. Now, note that the bike is a downhill one, so it doesn't even have reflectors...

Then the road started to go downwards. Its kind of awkwards to cycle in almost deep darkness, always feeling like i was going to hit a fence or something cos all i could see was the contours of the paved/dirt road. Halfway, i found some construction garbage: i was perplexed why ppl still throw construction garbage in the woods. So i stopped there, put the bike on a matress, sat on the road and smoked a cig while the noises slowly returned to the woods.

A bit far down, now with street lights, there were another possible smoking place: an abandoned stone house; and just after it, a cemetery, but its quite iluminated, so it won't do.

i need to go there, during daytime, to see were the hell i was, and how suitable are those spots :)