Ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille

#1 son is taking a Masters in documentary film-making at Sheffield uni, and was roped into covering yesterday's party in moving format while I did the stills. The pro camera was borrowed from his department at uni, and here he's setting up the lighting and sound, using me as a model, prior to interviewing his Grandad on the day after his 90th birthday celebration. Now he has an even bigger job than mine of editing what was taken in difficult conditions yesterday - the lighting was appalling and the music was Godawful intrusive to say the least. He'll need a clean soundtrack and clever editing to make it something better than a crappy family home video, but most of the guests don't realise the work involved, and expect to see it immediately on Youtube or Facebook. Similarly my shots are expected to join the many already drunkenly posted on Facebook from camera phones. I'm sorry but if they want a professional job they'll just have to wait.

I realise I sound crabby but I just had the worst evening since coming out of hospital with platinum coiled wire stopping my brain leaking. The hired DJ nearly triggered a fit when he tested his equipment at full volume right at the start, and I couldn't stop my hands shaking for the whole evening. Concentration was an effort and my head felt like someone was using it as timpani in an orchestra (think 1812 Overture). I felt sick and thought I would pass out several times. There was no time to eat or drink even water and I was totally mentally exhausted long before the end. The "music" finally pounded to a halt and I breathed a sigh of relief until some drunken plonker decided it was adding something to the festivities to start playing a drum as loudly as possible. I just snapped and shouted "Stop it, you f***ing b***ard!!!", which is not like me at all, although luckily no-one seemed to hear above the racket. I have read that a brain trauma can trigger bad language and anger issues, so maybe that is responsible for me turning into the Incredible Hulk on this occasion. To be on the safe side, no more noisy function shoots, and definitely none for family; it's never appreciated.