"You! Housekeeper! Feed me NOW!"

This is Clayton.

To paraphrase the old 1970s advertisements, Clayton is the cat you're having when you're not having a cat.

(For those people too young, or in those countries where Clayton's wasn't the subject of a major marketing campaign, Clayton's was a non-alcoholic drink for adults - 'the drink you're having when you're not having a drink". Heavily marketed in Australia and New Zealand).

Anyway. I am honorary auntie to numerous cats, dogs and children. I am babysitting Clayton at the moment, and he has got the Death Stare down to a fine art.

Lord save me if I don't feed him quickly enough, because he's quite capable of gnawing off my leg while I'm asleep. Not because he's hungry - just for sheer and unadulterated revenge.