Sitting Pretty

[Ooh! Just noticed, entry 1111... Quadruple Nelson perhaps! *cricket reference*]

If there's one thing the last four weeks of being the domestic gopher has taught me it's that there are some fundamental differences between the way men and women think.

Him: That was a nice dinner. And I made enough for us both to have some for lunch tomorrow as well.

Her: It tasted nice, but I would have cooked that bit in a different way and I'll bet the kitchen is a mess.

Him: Right, that's the kitchen cleaned and the dishwasher loaded. The pans are cleaned and I've wiped up that spillage and swept the floor.

Her: There are some crumbs behind the sink, and why on earth did he put that bowl on the bottom rail in the dishwasher?

Him: I'm a bit knackered, but I'll get as much ironing done as I can before getting her some water for the bedside table as she goes to bed.

Her: He hasn't finished the ironing.

Him: Ah she's a bit more mobile and can now have a bath, that'll make her feel better.

Her: Hmmm, lying here in the bath I can see that the tiles really could do with a good clean.

Him: I've hoovered the house, wiped down the kitchen to industrial spotlessness, fed the cat, fed and cleaned out the chickens, helped clean her hair, cleaned the bathroom, done the ironing, got another load of washing on, put the dishes away, made breakfast, lunch and dinner, weeded the garden, made a new raised bed for the garden, cleared the greenhouse, topped up the bird feeders, fetched water and painkillers and coffee and socks and ferrero rochers, charged her phone, moved her footstool, done the shopping, got her book, bought her a friendly cuddly monkey dressed in a kilt, fixed the handle on the cupboard in the hallway, filled pots for chilli seeds, fetched the heated propagator from the loft, moved the germinated chillis to the windowsill, put the fire on and handed her the tv remote.

Her: Missed a bit...

Actually, when I say that's the way men and women think, what I really mean is that's the way men think, whereas it's the way that women vocalise. I can only assume men and women are wired differently which means that women feel the need to tell you when something is not to their liking, despite everything else someone may have done, and suffer bemusement that this news of inadequacy of effort is not received with gracious bonhommie.

And they say there would be no wars if women were in charge...

It does bring to mind societal stereotyping. It's something that only generally gets referred to in the context of women staying at home to tend to children and prepare the dinner for the breadwinner. But it can work both ways - though seeing men as inadequate cooks or being unable to carry out domestic chores is never seen as sexist. There is still an incredulity sometimes if I mention to someone I do some of the cooking. Right down to, once, getting a patronising 'Well done you' from someone who was about the same age as me. As if I was being terribly plucky giving it a go, but probably best to leave it to a female expert next time eh?

Perhaps it's time for the rise of masculinism. Fight back against the glass... cooker hood.

Tough old day at the coal face. Wouldn't have been so bad, but the lurgy is lingering. Still, trip to the fishmonger; then earthy foods; made breakfast; the new raised bed is in place; the topsoil ordered (arrives Monday); new hose reel for mounting on the wall bought (to be mounted tomorrow); various garden bits and bobs seen to; shopping done (Asda on a Saturday, god help me, I managed to avoid homicide...); three course dinner made (aquachile - a Mexican seafood thingy where the cut up scallop is cooked simply by the lime juice it's in, and the whacking great load of chilli helps clear the tubes; a fish pie courtesy of Jamie Oliver's latest book; and a gluten-free coffee cake - next time I'll make the buttercream a little less sweet, but overall, a bit of a success); cleaned the kitchen (twice); emptied the dishwasher.

Oh, and sort of fixed my 70-300mm lens. The new mount arrived form Nikon, so I set to the task, only the electronic connection cable thingy came away. And the spring for returning the aperture arm wouldn't come off the old mount. So... Aperture has been 'locked' (read, superglued....) wide open, and focus is entirely manual. Works a treat actually. And is solid on the camera (wobbled about hugely before after one of the plastic bits broke - turns out to be a bit of a flaw with the lens).

Tomorrow? Pretty much the same, but I really need to tag on doing some website work, after last night's late night, which was set aside for that, was taken over with realising I hadn't got my entries together for the Veolia Wildlife Photographer of the Year Awards. I'd missed entry by a day, but fortune shone down on me as the deadline was extended over the weekend. Last year I got a shot into the 'quarter finals'. Given the profile of this competition I'd be chuffed with the same again, although it would be nice to take a step further...

Then I really would be sitting pretty (see what i did there?).