Dinner

Ok so first things first, yes I like my meat thoroughly well cooked, I know many will disagree and thinking i'm butchering a good roast (does that make any sense?) but i'm not going to apologize. My mother is working today, i'm so happy she's found something she loves doing, so it was up to me to make dinner for myself, pasta, roasted tomatoes with pesto and parmesan and then the roast, I think i'm getting better at cooking, and i'm collecting recipes for college next year so i won't have to eat cereal or as I have uncovered in my stalking of my brothers photos of his friends, white bread with baked beans and as sausage on toast.

Yesterday I was all excited about volunteering, well I got an email from one of the places, they won't let me work with the elderly, visiting them if they're lonely, I was really looking forward to it, they'd have lots of good stories, but apparently since i'm going to Scotland for college and not staying in Denmark, I can't work with them because i'd apparently be abandoning them. I get it, they're old and in some way I would be, but i'm still upset about it, like I said I was looking forward to it. Instead they offered me a job tutoring but I suck at danish, which makes me feel like crap when ever I have to write, plus everything I know in math, science, history, everything is in english, i'd be so lost.

I'm still trying to get into a really sleep pattern, it's been two days now, but i'll try to go the bed early again tonight. I woke up an hour after i'd gone to sleep last night feeling refreshed like from a nap and then unfortunately I made the mistake of reading, which I thought would calm my thoughts and let me go to sleep again, but instead I got caught up and next thing I know it's 5:00 in the morning and i've finished the book (I LOVE Kresley Cole), but then I still couldn't sleep because finishing a good book always makes me feel a little restless, frustrated that thats it.

I know I lead a mundane, monotonous life, its peaceful, but I can't wait to go to College and get away from Denmark, i've realized and may have said before that i've been in Denmark for 3-4 years now and have either been depressed or on anti-depressants, it's not good for me. I love Denmark, the royal family, the nature, the beer, Christmas, but I just can't seem to get a long with the danes and a part of me just doesn't want to try, I disagree with how they care so little about what happens outside their borders and I think their ignorance is what hurts me most, although I know I am just ignorant against danes.

I know parts of me are danish, i'm not as dark in the sense that I can't STAND danish movies, like i've said before there is a reason Lars Von Trier is danish and why i'm pretty sure the most common and popular genre is crime. I love documentaries about 911 emergencies, "Helicopter Heroes" is my favorite right now, but I like watching documentaries about murder to "Crimes that Shook Britain" or "Forensic Files", I think it's because Denmark is such a safe place, there is nothing that happens here, no natural disasters can truly hit us, there are no fault lines, anywhere near Denmark, no tornadoes, hurricanes, only the occasional storm and strong winds, I think it makes us fascinated by dark things because we are so safe from them, but thats just my theory and that's all I have, theories.