handmedowns

in my day, handmedowns were my brother's flared jumbo cords complete with patches on the knees. My brother being 7 years older than me meant that his clothes, by the time they got to me were not only broken and projecting the wrong gender image, they were also so far away from fashionable that people thought I was making a statement. My children are much luckier, this one's just grown into Flea's (fake) leather jacket and has been wearing it in a very cool kinda way ever since.

I've just finished reading Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? and I realise in another way how lucky my children are. Whilst reading I cried for that poor neglected child, I cried for her adopted mother because goodness only knows what had damaged her so much, I cried for her real mother having to give up her daughter and I cried for the woman who had to sort through all her shit before she could accept being loved and wanted by someone. Phillip Larkin was right, your mum and dad do fuck you up - but some parents seem to add a little cherry on top, just to make the upfuckedness complete. I know how my parents fucked me up and sometimes I'm wondering what I'm doing to my kids......

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.