Would you look at the mess! All that flour sitting around and bags half closed, dirty dishes and greasy old books with covers half off. None of this looks appealing. Not even the brightly coloured kitchen utensils (or porn as they are know in our family) can offer any form of excitement. Frankly its a complete mess and not worthy of a blip.

This is what happens when you spend 30 minutes looking through last year's thumbnails - you come across entries which talk of delicious blueberry scones with rhubarb jam. It isn't really on. I went to bed salivating and woke up unable to shake the taste and image from my mind.

The minute the boys were at football and the girl delivered to coaching I was in the kitchen putting those haunting thoughts to rest, and this is the result. Not in the least appetising.

The boys walked through the door groaning of sumptuous smells. My girl hoovered over the glossy golden array of cooked scones. She immediately whipped up some cream, gathered the jam and butter, plates and knives, and the magic came alive.

I'd like to say the finished article was as uninviting as a dollop of uncooked dough, but I would be lying and that's not very nice is it.

I have saved you from the calorie sacrifice and the dribbling on your keyboards - now that's what you call friendship!