Steve

Steve is (er, was) a highly-trained paratooper of the Queen's Blu-Tac 3rd Regiment.

He was attached to parachutes of various sizes made from bin liners in order to investigate the link between surface area and air resistance.

A brave soul, he was doing well until the 10cmx10cm parachute led to a rather terminal squishing injury on the playground. We did what we could for him, but alas he died in the line of duty for the sake of science.

I informed his next of kin (a Pritt Stick).