Flabb

Mmmm, breakfast.

Crisp bacon in a floured bap with drippy golden egg yolk and a cheeky sausage hidden in the depths. Strong coffee and blueberry muffins with a generous helping of whole milk yoghurt and sprinkled sugar. Five rounds of slightly burnt buttered toast with chunky marmalade and a creamy latte. Yes.

No. Not today anyway, for today is D-Day and the troops are coming in to attack my ever expanding waistline. God I hate diets. The monotony of planning meals and the desperate urge to swing a left into the McD's drive-thru and say balls to the lot.

This poor offering went into some scrambled eggs which I served up with some tinned kippers. Bork. A Weight-Watchers layered fromage frais is currently masking the aftertaste, but what will mask the aftertaste of the fromage frais I do not know.

Some booze and a curry perhaps? Aye, go on then.