Reversing The Curse

Once upon a time, there was a team of gargantuan mutant-men from the far-off land of the Potteries called Sturk, who played rugby with a round ball. The fact that they did this perplexed devotees of the round ball from more civilised climes, who always asked, "Why do you persist in trying to play rugby with this round ball? Is it not more pleasing to use your feet skilfully, than to spend your time breaking legs, intimidating referees, and hoofing the ball into the stratosphere at every available opportunity?"

These arguments meant little to the people of Sturk, who were busy trying to turn one of their spare balls into an oatcake.

But they did see with great envy how beautifully the round ball was used by the civilised men of Albion, and in their jealousy, they placed a curse upon us. For twenty-five years, with their magical incantation WE ALWAYS BEAT WEST BROM, they triumphed over us time and time again with all manner of jiggery-pokery, while we managed just one victory against them, masterminded by legendary leader Megson the Ginger. We wept at this foul injustice, and prayed for the day when the tables would be turned.

And so battle was fierce today, especially after a first-half Albion lead. Sturk prayed to their supreme footballing god, Dodgy Penalty, and he did answer their prayers, only for Ben Foster to heroically save the attempt on goal. Still, when they finally managed to score their customary jammy equaliser ten minutes from time, all seemed lost. Albion voices joined in chorus uttering the mantra reserved for these occasions: "For fuck's sake, not AGAIN."

And yet, in that darkest hour, young Graham Dorrans proved to be Albion's saviour, planting a free-kick past the evil Sorenson and gloriously silencing the oatcake-munchers.

Let it be known that on this day, the curse has been ended. No more shall the gangly, rugby-playing beanpoles of Sturk prevail against us. At least, not until next season.