One is the loneliest number

The last piece of bacon. I left it on the counter for my wife (she did cook it after all). I must confess...I was secretly hoping she wouldn't take it. It is bacon after all!

I left the room for 5 minutes. All literature reflects that five is the magic number...well, that's not actually true: three is THE number, but I'm a giver and decided to give an extra two minutes.

300 seconds later... I an one happy man.