Overwhelmed

For those of you who actually read these journal entries I have to apologise for being stuck in a bit of a rut with boring work issues. The complexity of modern software means that there is more scope for things to go wrong than ever before. There are so many layers between the code you write and the processor that ultimately runs your programs that countless other third-party pieces of software have to be configured and running correctly in order for your own software to work. The problems that arise are most often about the interfaces between all these bits of software. I sometimes yearn for the old days when you wrote straight to the metal. If there was a problem it was with your code. As simple as that. You had control. And that control conferred power. These days you can feel quite powerless when trying to sort out a problem many levels removed from your own software.

That's just to set the scene for the fact that I've just had to pull an all-nighter. It's now some 36 hours since I was last horizontal and I'm still not quite finished. I've been dreaming of my bed all day, and even when I went for a walk (forgot my running gear) at lunchtime I found myself conjuring up benches amidst dream castles!

I'm no stranger to sleep deprivation. I've always kind of resented sleep, generally deferring it until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. There has always been another chapter of a book to read, another album track to listen to, another bug to fix. I used to regularly stay up all night and hardly missed the lack of sleep at all. Not any more. You may not need quite so much sleep as you get older, but I think you function less well on none at all. I'd be happy if I never have to do this again.

My most fascinating experience of true sleep deprivation was in my first year at university, during rag week, when me and two mates bid to get in the Guinness Book of Records (successfully) for playing out the longest snooker match on record. We played for 200 hours, which is a bit over 8 days, playing two frames on and one off. It was almost pointless trying to sleep during that rest frame because our support crew had to start trying to wake us up almost immediately after we had fallen asleep! The most surreal moment was when I actually experienced the process of waking up in the middle of a frame. As I emerged into consciousness I had no idea where I was and remember playing along with the game while I tried to piece things together. The inference is that before that moment I had been playing in an entirely unconscious state. I was told that I was potting the ball very well too!

It's incredible that we know so much about the universe, all the way from the quantum level of sub-atomic particles right up to the cosmological level of black holes, yet we still know so little about sleep and consciousness. What goes on in our head is still the biggest mystery in the universe. And I always find myself pondering these kind of things when I'm short of sleep. Perhaps that's symptomatic of my rational left-brain consciousness getting tired and giving more space to my right-brain. Can anyone else relate to that?

There were some great comments left on yesterday's blip. You found so many wonderful ways of describing that lattice of branches and twigs. I was trusting that you might inspire me to come up with a better title, but some time today I looked back at it and it reminded me of a lightning strike. So that's how it's been renamed: The Lightning Fork Tree. What do you think? These titles are really important to me. I'm beginning to think about that blip book now!

With further apologies for not being able to get around to much commenting of my own, I hope you have a great evening.