Not my ususal...

nonsense ... I wandered off with the pooches a little while ago,armed with my long pervert lens and a pair of hairdressing scissors... the scissors are for if anyone attacks me,I won't offer to cut their hair though,I will jab them in the goolies or something.I only go into the fields over the road but you never know if someone might be lurking to leap at me.
I feel VIRTUOUS ... yes,yes I do ... despite not rising from my pit until 11am I am got heaps of twiddly little jobs done and also last night I was rudely startled awake at 1.30am by my drunken husband... he cannot hold his drink,he has not really drunk for a few years... he is a cheap date... well,I could hear scrabbling at the front door .. he claimed our lock was conspiring against him..... it wasn't.
He claimed he was not drunk,but I heard him topple off the toilet,I have checked for evidence and it seems he was not mid-stream... (He is not allowed to stand up to pee as he is 6ft 5 inches tall and that makes a bloody mess if it causes splashback) ANYWAY me being the kind wife that I am hahahahahahah made him get up at 9.50 when the Sainsburys van arrived .. and he packed it all away and then I screached... UNLOAD THE DISHWASHER YOU PISS HEAD... I don't do well on lack of sleep ;) awwww he is a bullied treasure.
His offspring Lucy went and got herself a black bin liner and a duster with NO prompting,cleared her bedroom and dusted and then told me she knew Father Christmas was watching... clever girl :D

Cake.... just eaten a scone and two mini mince pies with brandy butter.....