Cornish Hig's Bosun Accelerometer thingy

Those of a scientific bent, or worse, will know about the Higgs Boson particle which is being sought so avidly at Cern by the super duper gravity spinner thingy. Well down here in Lower South West Upper North West Cornwall, we have a slightly different search on the go.

The Pig's Bosun particle. Known as such by lifeboat and fishing crews alike, it's that small difference that makes the Coxswain, (or Bastard) as he's commonly known, such a Bar Steward. Here is proof that in a normally secluded section of Porthtowan there is a device nearing completion that will turn the world of Einstein and Bruce Forsyth on its head.

The particle separator or masticator is linked to the mains sewage outflow and makes the beaches safe for our Vizturs. Now here's the scientific bit. Without this magic bit of apparatus the raw effluvium that dissipates into the nearby holiday beach via the charming stream which flows down the centre of the beach, would have most Vizturs beating Usain Bolt's 100 metre record were they to ingest anything not zapped by the still unamed device. A few do succumb to the jolly old "Heeeeeeeelp Meeeeee!" bug, but fewer than before installation of the zapper. For this you have to thank SW Water, but mostly the charming folk who live here all year round, contributing both physically and financially to the experiment.


Definitely not best viewed any closer.