Your mother is always right.

Today I got a really early appointment at the Doctors.
I am hugely relieved to get one.
My chest is still bad, and I'm coughing a lot.
So I practically run down there, keen to get seen and into Court on time.

The Doctor is lovely, and asks me to lift my top so he can listen to my lungs.

I freeze. OH SHIT. OH SHIT.
I forgot to put a good bra one on.
I have the bra from hell on.

It USED to be white, it USED to be lacy,
it USED to hold my charlies in place.

It's NOW grim and grey like Bob Geldof's hair,
it's NOW bobbly like a sheep's arse.
And...oh bloody hell.

I will never leave the house again without my
best undies on ever again.
Mum, you were right.

It fucking kills me to say that.


I JUST WANT TO SAY THE BRA WAS CLEAN, JUST OLD AND KNACKERED.
I thank you.