Sometimes when I look out from inside my little bubble, my little hole that I crawled into I see things like this. A crazy little man who loves me deeply...

..What would I have been without my crazy family? I am going thru a major change in my life that I haven't asked for. Or have I been asking for a change on another level and this is the answer? I know I´m deep, but sometimes my thoughts touch this subject, if I have been asking for this.

Well, the weekend has been stressful with a lot of emotions and not enough sleep. But what is sleep in a bigger perspective?

I know that things will fall into place. When I have my diagnose my plan will kick in. Then I know what to do, what steps to take and what kind of help I will need.

In the mean time I grief. So, when things are clear and on paper the grief will be done and I will fix the shit and do what I need to do and carrie on.

I might have EHLERS DANLON SYNDROME and even if the type my doc believe I have isn't life threatening there is a small suspicious that I might have the vascular one (its in the link) and that is scary... And even if it is another type it will never go away and it will be hard to cope with sometimes. As it is now i am waiting for nearly 5 operations that cannot be done before we know if I have EDS or not.

Well, time will tell and in the middle of January I will meet a doc on a Genetic Clinic in Stockholm.