Cartesian mountain run conflicts

brain : sheen machine is coming in 5 mins to take you running in the pentlands
body : git tae feck, why da feck did you sign up to that? you've only had 4 hours sleep.. ya fecking eejit
brain: aye.. bit of an own goal..
body: own goal? Ya fecking moron.. Ah've just spent the last few nights on the lash. I've no ran or drawn breath in anger in over a week. it's been blowing a hurricane for days now. I have the heart and lungs of as asthmatic granny. Wit on earth were you thinking ya lazy sod.
brain: I've really done it now, haven't I? sorry about that
body: Bit late for sorry that's her phoning now.. . Up and sharpish. Grab some calories and coffee on the way you twit.
brain: oh, ok then.. <slaps head>

**** later****

body: that's mud isn't it. Between ma toes.Cold mud's got into my trainers. That's pure bouffing by the way. I'm slipping about all over the place. Who knew swamps had inclines?
brain : look at that view...
body: I think we're sinking.
brain: Let's stand on the heather
body: still sinking.
brain: let me just get my phone..
body: whoaaaa there. That wind's a bit brutal is it no? Nearly blew me clean over. Just as well we're sunk up to our shins in cold sheep dropping smoothie.
brain: I feel much better now.
body: aye, just smell that booze leaching out of yir pores.
brain: where's the sheen machine go to?
body: See that spec way way over the horizon.
brain: Aye?
body: She's past that and round the bend...

In the end we survived and got cake. Happy days. Thanks Sheen for making me do it.