Trifling Matters

Made a trifle in the dish I wrote about the other day. My friend Sue came for lunch today and said it tasted 'like childhood'.

My mum would not have put sprinkles or cherries on hers, but I didn't have flaked almonds for mine. I love the way the colour of the sprinkles mists into the cream. And the way the cream splits like that. My Nan made trifle, not with Boudoir biscuits, but Swiss Roll in the bottom. Not just any old Swiss Roll either, but Swiss Roll that had a layer of cream as well as jam. No doubt it was as cheap as chips, and the cream was probably genetically engineered in a lab and had nothing to do with an actual cow, but my goodness, it was so tasty. Even then I knew that it wasn't as 'nice' as my Mum's, and that I shouldn't like it as much, but I did.

My Nan had lots of 'nicknacks' in her house, which I also knew weren't considered to be in very good taste, but I loved them too. Little pixies wearing felt hats, standing on a piece of slate saying 'A Present from Cornwall', a china mouse peering out of a bit of holey cheese, china Gossware thimbles, a little gnome holding a broom that moved from side to side so you could make it look like it was really sweeping. I loved playing with them in the orange tiled grate around her gas fire. It was so '70's! Once, she had these thick candles burning on the fireplace. Suddenly a load of wax poured down onto the tiles near where I was playing. One of my nan's friends gasped really loudly, because she thought I had been sick. Heaven knows what she would have done if I'd really thrown up - fainted perhaps. She was quite proper. My Dad knew her for about 30 years and never called her anything but 'Mrs Tant', and of course neither did I. I knew her name was Julie but I only ever heard my Nan call her that, no other person ever did as far as I knew. She committed suicide when I was about 10 and I can honestly say it was one of the most shocking events of my life, even though I was not close to her. I found it unfathomable, shocking, frightening and the feelings and images it evoked stayed with me for a very long time.