The New Me

Hey Everyone :)


Sorry I've not been around much, my life is all Go Go Go, Sparky has more time to do this than me (but that's usually because im next door with a cuppa in hand catching up on the latest gossip with my best friend lol), I do find pictures and say "yeah that's one to blip" so then I do.

I've been having a bit of trouble the last week or so with a certain "EX" who is trying to make my life hell, instead he is making my lovely little man suffer, I wish he would just get over himself and accept me and Sparkie are happy and that's not going to change any time soon.

Sparky has been my rock and made me feel like a mum again. For some time, after i separated with my ex, I started to feel like what's the point, I didn't dress nice, no make up, I just didn't care because I felt like a part of me was missing, like a part time baby sitter as I didnt see my little man as much as I wanted, I got him back in my care in June and must admit one thing, its only been about a month since we have really become very close again. One night I bathed Zack and as I was putting him in his jimmyjams he looked at me and said "Mummy, I love you with all my heart, forever and ever, nothing will ever come between us" and that was it, all those feelings and the mummy feelings came shooting back, I was so delighted, IM A MUMMY AGAIN !!!!!! I couldn't of done it without Sparky kicking my arse Bum when needed, or just really being there for me :)

Last weekend myself and a fellow friend organised a 21st birthday party for my best friend. I was due to go and get my hair cut and re-coloured, when I get home my hair has been chopped right short and coloured black with red highlights. What a different look for me !!!! All my life I've been told what to wear, how to look, who I can be friends with etc. If not by my parents (which I can understand) then by partners. Sparky is totally different he lets me be free. I can do what I want, when I want, and wear and look how I want as long i'm happy. I find myself asking him permission, but that's what I've been used to. I love that I can be myself, I am a bit weird and wonderful at times e.g the hair, but love that I can express that now.

After a long time coming. Myself, Sparky and Zack can be a family and start to move forward to the future. We are finally on the "right tracks" to a bright and fantastic future all together........ that's all I have ever wanted. A man to love, who loves me for me and my beautiful little boy. One big happy family. I know I say this a lot but my boys are my life and they make me the happiest mummy and woman in the world !!!!!



P.s. Before I go, went to wimpy for dinner the other night and Zack has some coca cola. Whilst we was in the restaurant and all the way home he kept burping and every time I said " ewww Zack" he turned around and said to me " it wasn't me mummy, it was daddy". We was in fits of laughter. We have never told or encouraged Zack to call Sparky anything but Mark, but he tells me off and says " No mummy, your mummy and that's daddy"