pre-thxgiving dinner

S invited us to her place for prethx dinner. I love the turkey and cranberry source. I really did not want to go before not because of the drama, just because I do think I have much to say with them. Maybe BY thought the same thing. She said it was boring. Yes it was but I felt comfortable. Chang is right. I need sth to happen in my life that I feel accomplished. But so far there is nothing for a long time. I was glad we left earlier to go clubbing in boston. I felt wonderful for 2 hours because I could be real me. I did not to say anything nor try to cover anything. That was me. I did not need to worry about others. I know you guys were looking at me and might think we were crazy. But i do not care. Thats why I like clubbing. In clubs people have various intentions: realy love, dates, one night stand, dignity, etc. When I looked into your blue eyes, I could pretend we were in love even though you did not even ask my name or number. I wish the night could be longer so I could live only at the moment. When the lights turned on, we had to turn back to the fake us or maybe real us. Its very hard to tell one from the other. When we fake too long, we think the fake is real. Sunday is always sad. Craziness is over. Time to take care of shits. Hopefully next week I can hear some good news.