Certainty.

If I had ten divisions of men like this, our troubles here would be over very quickly.

I'm off for my bi-annual visit to St James' Park tomorrow. Knowing my luck, my and 'er indoors presence will mean that the Toon's unbeaten record will come to an end.
Flouncy haircuts might get you a free kick or two as you pirouette and writhe, but you'd be buggered in the jungles of 'Nam, or, let's face it, in the old Division 1 circa 1975.