Serene.

How to keep a very active four year old quiet and still for a few minutes: Take him/her to a park with a pond, and tell him/her to be silent and still, as not to scare away the fish and ducks.
It works. I got nearly 10 minutes of this very rare still and quiet. I don't think I have ever seen Master Four year old like this, other than when he's sleeping... And even then, he's a sleep fidgeter, talker, and snores.

What I would give to have that kind of serenity, even for that short amount of time.

My chaotic life seems to have very little calm in it, and I grow weary. Very weary. Granted, I am still elated at the news that I will be working with Incubus in February and Kings Of Leon in a few weeks. That's beyond exciting. But it is somewhat undermined by everything else going on around me. The events of the last six weeks are still very fresh and distressing for myself, The Boyfriend, and his family. There is always SOMETHING (or, more to the point, someone incredibly insensitive) to remind me of what we've lost, and it's quite a slap in the face.
Add into the mix, dealing with a lack of sleep (not helped by through-the-night roadworks outside my house, jackhammers and all, three nights since the weekend), and the fun of paperwork for school enrollment. It never ends. NEVER. I don't know how many separate forms I've had to fill in, asking the same damn questions, 90 different damn ways. That said, it is heartening to see Master Four Year Old getting so excited about starting school next year. (Incidentally, at the same school I went to from third to eighth grades in the mid '90s til 2000, and one of the admin staff recognised me!! Made me giggle a little with the "well, haven't you grown" I got)

Time for some music in my ears, hopefully some rest, and maybe, just maybe, a little serenity. (By the way - I back-blipped for yesterday as I didn't much feel like dealing with the internet)

"I need serenity in a place where I can hide.
I need serenity, nothing changes days go by.
Where do we go when we just don't know?
And how do we re-light the flame when it's cold?
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing?
And when will we learn to control?"
~ Serenity - Godsmack