When good crusades go bad

The Aztecs invaded Dalkey hill in 1323.
Their first move was to build a mini pyramid.
Then they captured Padraic O'Donnell and had him tied at the top of the pyramid, ready to be sacrificed to the Sun god.
They'd cut his sun drenched chest open with the sacrificial knife and hold his still barely beating heart aloft in the glorious rays.

After a wait of three and half years they gave up and fecked off back home to Aztecia.
It was a long, bitter and disillusioned paddle back to the motherland.
That was the end of their missionary aspirations.

Padraic O'Donnell breathed an almighty sigh of relief, set up a still on top of the pyramid and drank to the Greast Drizzle God until the end of his life three weeks later (quality potato alcohol was hard to come by in those days).