You can't beat a pork pie

Introducing Harry Stocracy: The best tonic in the world!

When you come out of a long relationship, for what ever reason, self esteem tends to be at rock bottom.
Forget therapy or prescriptions, hilariously, hyper, Harry Stocracy was just what the doctor ordered. I met him at a conference when we both reached for the same item across the buffet table.

"You can't beat a good pork pie." He said.
"No, they really don't like it." I replied.

One year on we met at the same venue.

"Amanda hello! How wonderful to see you. Are you still with that ghastly chap?"
"Well, funny you should ask, we split up only yesterday." I said
"Fantastic news, I've already got your number, I call!"

5 minutes later my phone rang. " Hugankiss!" (He always calls me by my surname.) "Told you I'd call didn't I? You look fantastic. Bye."

2 hrs later Harry Stocracy called again: "Now Hugankiss, I'm on my way to Paris, and then flying to Morocco, I'll be back in 10 days, then I'm going to Ireland."
"OK."
"Come with me darling. Come to Ireland."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I'm working."
"Oh for Fox sake, are you mad? You're on your own now, just do it.
"But, Harry some of us have to work!"
"Well, if you can't sort yourself out, Hugankiss, there is absolutely no hope for you."
"OK, OK. I could possibly join you on Thursday."
"Perfect, I'll get my secretary to book your flights."

"Hi Hugankiss I'm just leaving Paris, I don't know how I'm going to manage 10 days in Morocco without talking to you, but I know there's no signal there."

"Hugankiss, I've just landed back in Paris. I've been longing to hear your voice for ten days, and all I get is answerphone. What's wrong with you, darling?"

"Hugankiss I'm leaving for Ireland, I'll see you on Thursday, I can't wait."

So, on Thursday morning I called Harry Stocracy from the airport.
" Hi I'm just boarding, you'd better be there waiting in arrivals."
"Of course, darling, of course, see you very soon"

I arrived in Ireland, there was no sign of him, I hung around, my phone wouldn't work, I had no idea where we were staying, or where he was.
45 minutes later, I was starting to regret my rashness. I'd have to get a flight home.

Suddenly, from nowhere he jumped on my back!
"Hugankiss. You should have come outside, I was waiting in the car park."
"You promised you'd be here to meet me."
"No change for the pay and display, darling. Now hurry up or we'll get a fine"

Oh my goodness! What had I done? Act in haste, repent at leisure!

To be continued at some point in the future...


The pork pie was delicious by the way!