Armed and dangerous...

Police in Haddington have appealed for witnesses after the local Post Office was this morning robbed of almost £50

It is believed that a ruthless gang of elderly thieves, calling themselves the 'Sanatogen Crew' were behind the robbery. The leader, and look out during the commission of the crime, is thought to be Walter 'Wally' McSporran, an ex postman holding a grudge. The Post Office cashier was threatened with a sharpened set of false teeth before handing over the entire contents of her cash drawer.

The public have been warned to report any sightings of the gang to Police, and under no circumstances to approach them. Detective Insp Smith of the not-so-serious-crime-squad said "make no mistake - these people are known to carry Werthers Originals and are not afraid to use them".