Young hearts

Reuben clutches a photograph in his hand of a little school pal named Aimee.

Everyday for as long as I can remember, Reuben talks about how he loves to "hug Aimee". Suddenly my heart feels just a little burnt as the realisation dawns on me that this must have been her last day and that Reuben was endowed with taking home her name card.

She's one of the many girls who arrive at the gate to meet Reuben at the drop off, to take him by the hand and guide him into the playgym. She's assertive and bright and I've found myself asking the teachers do these girls mother him? No, they reply. They love how gently Reuben treats them, how he makes them laugh. He has so much confidence now at school. He evades tasks he has no interest in, just as he'll open Go, dog, go! and instantly say "I read the whole book". And at other times, he'll race through it.

The letter has come through from the school district that after due process, he will not be awarded the full amount it would cost to send him to this same school since it is outside the school district. I envisage him in a large, ominous school with a concrete playground outside with his dangerous neck and being immersed in a huge group of kids amongst whom he would be lost. My fears I'm sure are worse than the situation could really be, but I worry about the right place for Reuben and for now, after the comfort of UCLA, this has been it. We've always been prone to work on his academics at home simply because he enjoys them so much, couldn't get enough of them early on, whilst the preschool has developed his social skills, clearly.

We play in the garden after their swim lesson and I think it about time for Reuben to open up the rest of his birthday presents (the reason being I left them so long was that the guests were incredibly generous and there would just have been too many to appreciate). So we have a mini party in the garden with bunting and a few months on, the boys are better able to understand what birthdays are. Callum now talks continuously of his (apparent) pirate ship birthday party in November.

I wonder if Reuben ever gives the girls this look and I wonder how he'll feel when Aimee is no longer sitting beside him at circle time and giving him huge bear hugs. Oh, my mama heart.

I'm looking now at this image remembering he will never be allowed to play contact sports such as football or American football due to his neck.

I'm not a baby backblip

Busy week processing this shoot.