......Stool Pigeon......

Kid Creole and the Coconuts!

Actually it's a Wood Pigeon...shot through the windscreen of my car when I arrived at the ponds this morning. Not too bad for a shot through a screen that hasn't been washed in over a week....apart from the rain, of course.

Usual holiday Tuesday, sorted all the gear for coaching tonight, came home , had lunch, chilled, went back to the ponds this evening for coaching, got all the gear out and then went to ask the "gentlemen" fishing to vacate the waters.

Gentle men is in parenthesis because 7 of them vacated easily, if a bit reluctantly...but two of them decided to argue the toss. It went a little something like this:

Guys, you do know you have to vacate the waters at 5.00 and it's now 5.40?

We bought a day ticket, that means we can fish all day

And so you can gents, but not on this pond, there's junior coaching on here tonight....you can move onto the top pond....or wait and see if there are any vacant pegs on the middle pond when all the kids are settled.

What about all the others?

If you look gents you'll see that I have asked them to vacate and they're all doing so.

So a day ticket isn't really a day ticket then?

As I've said you're welcome to move to another pond once all the kids are settled.

Why are all these kids coming on this pond then?

There's a notice just behind you guys, it explains that we do Junior coaching every Tuesday

That wasn't there when we started...and any way it says from 6.00 not 5.00

Sorry guys but the sign went up when we got here this morning ...about 10.30...and you've obviously read it so you know what's going on.

"The kids might not turn up. What if we move and they don't turn up?

Gents, we coach about 20 youngsters every Tuesday, believe me they will be here in about 15 minutes, once they've signed in and collected the gear.

Tell you what son...we'll just wait and see...if any kids turn up and want these pegs then we'll move.

Intake of breath...eyes narrowed......count to three

No. I'll tell you what....you will pack up your gear and vacate these pegs in the next 10 minutes or I will forcibly remove you and have you barred from these waters.................oh and by the way don't f*cking call me son!

I went away and returned about 15 minutes later.....guess what.....they were gone.

I get a tad tetchy when people I don't know call me mate, pal etc.....but SON! My family call me by my first name.....my friends use my first name or nicknames....to every one else it's Mr. or Sir.

You can call me what you like....you're my friends.

Das vidanya moy padruga.