End of the line

I'm writing this after walking at least 10 miles, all in one direction, so I have to walk that back yet. I've sat down by sea where there is not a sold around.. Just the waves nestling against the beach. Not a sole around. I was going to use that as my picture, but I thought the picture I chose said more about how I am feeling.

The tracks were some that I passed over when I was walking & am pretty sure from the amount of undergrowth that it hasn't been used in a long long time. The fact that it was the end of the line is what made me take the shot.

I've been feeling like I'm at the end of the line in my life. I shouldn't be feeling that at 26.. I should be buzzing for life & looking forward to what the future will bring. But I'm not. I can't see anything to look forward too, my life seems to me like a shambles. People will say but I have my career & the fact I'm on the property ladder to say I shouldn't be miserable. But although these can be good things, Mine are not. My job can get very lonely, & so can living on your own.

These are two factors which have not helped my depression, which is not a thing I like to tell people I suffer from. As normally I will get the reaction "your not depressed, your just glum!" or they just try to ignore it. I've never actually been to the doctors to confirm i have it, as I'm a little bit stubborn & want to get out of my problems myself. I know it's a struggle, but that's how my fucked up mind thinks. "so your depressed cos your lonely eh, well close yourself off from people to try & get over it!" I can't understand why I am willing to publicise this as normally Im quiet about these matters.. Maybe this is me crying for help & I don't realise it?.. I don't really want to think too much as I feel the thoughts that would make it the end of the line for me will return.. I just hope I'm strong enough to get through this latest batch & come out a relatively sane person..