Domestic God

I've made the beds, ran the hoover round, been to the supermarket and bought more new school clothes. I've also stocked up on clothes dye so that Eve can continue the personalisation of her wardrobe.

All that remains is to work out how to get into this tin and feed the animals some lunch.

Me and Mrs Smith on the other hand are having slow roasted brisket which is cooking away in olive oil, spices and red wine. It will be served with roasted vegetables and cheese mash. The kids will turn their noses up at it - more fool them and more for us.

This insight into my culinary technique was inspired by La La Land.