Life is not a Bowl of Cherries

Life is not a bowl of cherries for many, and so in that respect and in the greater scheme of things, I consider myself most fortunate in every respect.

I have some ability in not dwelling on my physical or mental shortcomings.
This is just as well given the conversation with his lordship which ensued on our trip to the Land of Flowers, a place of brightness and pizzaz for a day when it has rained solidly for 24hours.
I quote from memory:

HL: You should have been down at Waverley Station yesterday morning strutting your stuff when they were looking for models.

ME: Yeh, right, you mean for the older lady, who would have to stand on 8" stilts under my long trousers to be noticed.

HL: There's nothing wrong with you: what do you want?

ME: To be tall and thin.

HL: Well, you're wee and dumpy, so get over it. (Then, sensing that this was definitely a faux pas on a massive scale, he makes what he considers amends by saying,) No you're robust and well fed, and you've got nothing to worry about.

ME: (Thinks, no, just that I'm wee and dumpy).

As I sit nursing nothing more than a coffee and not even glancing at the cakes, things proceed amicably with no hint of any self pity or thought to 'dumpy', when he puts the boot in.

HL: (Laughing) you know you look like Ronnie Corbett sitting there. You should wear brighter clothes and make more effort with your hair. (We watched Ronnie C last night and he has put on rather a lot of weight.)

ME: What do you mean? I washed my hair and blew it dry. What more can I do?

HL: Sighs

ME: There's more to superficial looks you know- it's the personality that counts.

HL: Could you not adopt both?

ME: But on the positive front, I have got small feet, which makes it very easy for me to get close to the cooker and the sink, so that must be good. You should be pleased.

He senses that anything else would be better unsaid, he pays for my coffee and buys me a very colourful top. That is his penance for winding me up.

Life goes on in the Dower House as usual- I don't harbour grudges- not half I don't!