just allan

By allan

Muggy Monday

Belhaven Bay on the way home as the weather threatened, then came to nothing. It wasn't much of a day really, after the fabby weekend with Dotty and her boys. Work in Edinburgh, train both ways. I took some photos at the station, from the train window, and then when I was riding along the path home the sky was dead big and lumpy with the sea all misty, so I took a few like this. Nice.

At work I was involved in a downright surreal conversation which started with lady1 explaining that she always photographs herself in her holiday outfits well in advance to make sure they're ... stylish or something. Her friend, lady2, told us that this means that it takes her at least 3 months to get ready to go on holiday.

Clearly quite single-minded in her preparations, lady1 went on to describe how she takes great big clips to hold her towel on the sun lounger, a washing line, and other surprising things for a lady who said to me recently that she can't imagine camping because "that's why they invented hotels."

But then I realised she is camping, albeit in a hotel. We propmtly had a chummy conversation about travel washing lines. We both have the same sort!

Then it got proper weird. Turns out the company once had a "customer focus" campaign internally, where they sent 12" high customer cardboard cutouts to all the staff. People took these things into meetings, and sat them on the table. Yes, really. To ensure they had "the customer" foremost in their minds. You couldn't make it up.

Of course, certain people decided they would collect the set and raided the stores at night. Then they invented biographies and relationships between these effigies. The HR department had a mission to find positive stories about the madness so when lady2 took her favourite 12" high customer around Australia, photographing him with kangaroos, drinking cocktails and dancing, they printed the photos in the company magazine. How we laughed.

'Ah', lady1 reminded us, but didn't lady2 have two of the 12" high customers marry? Yes she did! The ladies recalled making dresses for their lady customers, suits for the men - and they were married. This, also, appeared in the company magazine. We laughed some more.

Lady2 then went to her locker and returned WITH THE MAGAZINES. From 6 YEARS AGO. Incredibly, it's all true.

But when I pointed out that she was the £10-voucher-best-email-winner for that issue, she fell silent. She has never received the voucher! OMG! A steward's enquiry will follow I should imagine. I would not recommend messing with these ladies, so HR's in serious trouble. Watch this space.

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